[she is not convinced, and she copies his facial expression with ease, steering more towards an amused tone than otherwise. stephen strange is many things, and one of the things he is not is a liar, which makes it a little comical when he tries to traipse around the truth.
a sign of her growing comfortable in the sorcerer's presence is the way she scooted closer to the edge of her seat, leaning forward, as if ready to pull away at whatever layers of not-lies he's coiling around the actual answer.
butâ
wanda, realizing this, leans back down, shoulders a little hunched. it's not like this is steve or natasha, or vision, or pietro.]
[oh, but how giddy with delight she grows at stephen's offering of something he clearly made some amount of effort to keep to himself (regardless of the fact that he seems to have walked himself into a corner).
her expression is muted for a moment until she sets down the cup of tea on the table and, with a bright smile, brings her hands upâfingers facing the ceilingâand snaps of small, glittering sparklers conflagrate over the table.
âalmost as if realizing that she isn't supposed to be using magic, she claps her hands together, the pyrotechnics show stopping abruptly, but it does very little to deter her smile.]
Happy birthday!
[is this reaction born from the fact that it's a step away from acquaintances and more towards the friendlier scope she hopes is not just one-sided? maybe. still, it's merriment that stems from a silly feeling that birthdays are important.]
It's lucky I came to bother you before midnight, then. Has it been a good day for you?
[Wanda. What did he say about not using magic superfluously? Stephen holds back a sigh, thinking of mentioning as much as the red sparks and sparkles shimmer at the table, only holding his tongue when she appears to realize her mistake and stop the celebration outright.
His eyes say it for him; no point in reiterating it. Stephen can't help but exhale somewhat.]
There's nothing lucky about it. It's a normal day, and that's how I like it. With all that's been happening lately, celebrations feel a little... forced.
[Throwing birthday celebration in the middle of an impending apocalypse? Feels a little tone deaf.]
[wanda is not dissuaded despite his words. sure, celebrations seem a little tone deaf considering the circumstances and everything dreary that has been happening since their arrival. butâstillâ]
I'm not saying to have a party.
[but whether they like it or not, it feels more like they are getting pulled by the waves of whatever sways the events of this place, rather than them having any actual say on how the tides turn.
with a little more fortitude in her confidence, she says, easily:]
I'm just glad that I can partake in your day a little.
[normal or otherwise, despite it being his birthday.]
It felt stupid to celebrate our birthdays after our parents had died, but Pietro always insisted we did. Just for one day, we could give ourselves an excuse to be happy. No matter how bad things were.
So, [the smile she pushed on her face remains, arms tucked around her] even with all the bad looming over us, I am glad to share a tea party with you on this day.
[Itâs not as though he can argue with that, rightfully. A little beleaguered:]
Fine. Just donât mention it to anyone else. Itâs bad enough the medical department has it on file to use against me.
[As though birthdays were meant to be weaponized. But in a show of quiet defeat, Stephen leans back into his chair properly, cradling his cup in his hands.]
How did you and your brother celebrate birthdays together?
[âthat has friends? âthat goes around telling everyone about someone's birthday when they clearly aren't into it? please, stephen. suppose scorpios really want to keep it close to their chest. stephen's insistence of treating it like this is some macabre plot that she could use feels a little funny, but wanda makes the decision to not dig too much into it and just accept his stubbornness as an attempt to dismiss the point entirely.
it's polite, she reckons, asking a question to continue their conversation. much as it pains her to reach into her mind for the memories of pietro, she can sail those seas a little better these days. her socked feet touch the floor and she's leaning forward, arms parallel on her thighs, nails lightly tapping at the porcelain of her cup.]
We would sneak out of the orphanage together, and go to an old lady's house. Anna. She knew our parents from beforeâ well, you know. We would pick berries from the bushes and run to the market for cherries, and she would make us pancakes and pie with it. We even gave each other small presents of things we found.
[she looks up at stephen, with a scrunch to her nose.]
He was always so loud about things and letting everyone know what day it was. It was a bit embarrassing, so I can understand your wanting to keep it a secret.
[Stubbornness is a part of Stephen he hasnât quite learned to dismiss. Maybe he never will. But heâs content enough to focus on someone elseâs birthday expeditions, no matter how bittersweet they may be on Wandaâs part.
He appreciates her candor. Her honesty. Her trust to share these little moments with him. Somehow, the connection has gone both ways, because he finds himself adding without promptingâ]
Because people think that theyâre obligated to do things for you. That someoneâs birthday means theyâre supposed to be the center of the world. Iâve spent enough of my life thinking the universe revolved around me, Wanda, even when it wasnât my birthday.
[He holds back another sigh. Itâd be probably the fifth one since this conversation started â he isnât trying to count.]
Besides, theyâre always more fun when weâre kids. Adult birthdays never live up to the hype.
...but you helped many people even then, too, I'm sure.
[as the acclaimed doctor he has told her he used to be before turning his life towards magic and sorcery. wanda picks up the cup between her hands, but remains seated as she is for a moment.]
It does not sound like you even tried to let an adult birthday break your expectations. [with a small sip of her drink, she pauses in her words enough to sit back on the chair properly.] Though I suppose it is difficult for people like us.
[in this "saving the world" business.]
The third of January, but don't mention it to anyone else.
[sharing is caringâand with this they are even.]
[Donât think heâll forget it â the 3rd of January. In Stephenâs mind, itâll always be noted and written in permanent marker.]
Maybe so. Maybe there just arenât enough hours in the day.
[For people like them. Stephen shakes his head a little, feeling remiss if he doesnât correct one thing.]
Youâre wrong about me, though, from when I was still a surgeon. Thereâs a reason why I was so desperate to fix my hands, and it had nothing to do with wanting to help people. [The disdain is clear in his voice. This is a part of himself heâs grown past, but it doesnât make it any less ugly.] Helping people was a consequence, not the purpose. I only accepted patients I knew I could fix. Only those who would boost my reputation, bolster my successes moving forward. For every surgery I deigned to worth my time, I declined at least ten others.
I wasnât a humanitarian. I was an egotist who believed I could cheat death over and over again.
[wanda listens, because it is stephen's birthday, but also beacuse she's good at thatâat hearing others talk, especially when she has no reason to argue or jump into a point of the conversation. perhaps having stephen remember this part of his life is not entirely conducive to a good not-celebration, but maybe it doesn't really matter.]
Yeah, it sounds like you were an asshole.
[he's probably heard that before. she takes another sip.]
People make mistakes. [much like how she perceives her life story.] People change.
You still helped people, even if you were being selfish. Now you don't get to choose what is worth your time anymore. Besides, if you didn't want to fix your hands for your own selfish reasons, we would have never crossed paths. Perhaps we would have never returned to the world after being blipped.
[It's telling how the 'asshole' remark barely gets a reaction; yes, he's been called that many times in the past. And even categorically, Wanda isn't wrong.]
I know. And I'm not trying to get you to throw me a pity party. This is how it was fated to be, even if it took me being an ass to get here.
[So many actions branching out into a bigger purpose. The butterfly effect lives on vicariously in the universe.]
I just thought you should know, in case⌠[Vague hand wave] âŚI don't know. We have another mass dream sequence and you get to see some of the uglier parts of who I was. Since that's a thing that can happen now, apparently.
[it's not a badge of honor or anything, but she's not the pillar of purity that hasn't seen (or been) ugly before. even steve rogers couldn't keep his hands clean in the end. in the end, they all really are humanâflawed and imperfect.
despite it, she smiles, keep her back straight against the back of the chair, stretching her arms forward.]
One time I was comforted by being told that "no one dislikes me", but in that tone whereâyou know, [a hand motion] it sounds like they do. They can't voluntarily not be afraid of me.
Don't take this the wrong way, but seeing that you have ugly parts makes me feel a little better. Getting to involuntarily share them is something else, but â well, you do know about Westview, much as it pains me to admit.
Ugly parts don't change the opinion I have on a friend.
[The ugly parts make one human. He can accept that much, as long as Wanda can do the same. Stephen knows about Westviewâhell, basically everyone in Kamar-Taj knows about that huge blip on the magical radarâbut from what he can parse, he canât blame her for it. Not really.]
Your magic is powerful, Wanda. More than powerful, to the point where others just wonât be able to fathom what it can do. And you know the old cliche â people are afraid of what they donât understand.
[He pauses.]
To me, I see Westview as being⌠a mistake, yes, but just further proof that youâre human. Not an untouchable witch, or an untouchable ex-Avenger, but someone who struggled with a power they didnât know they had.
I know you didnât ask for my opinion, but there it is.
[And itâs what friends do. Give reassurance where itâs warranted, smattered with a hint of faith.]
[quite suddenly, this conversation has tipped on its head to be about her. that's not a necessarily bad thing, but as stephen speaks, wanda expects there to be mention of how her actions have been wrong and how it is in her cards to expect judgement and criticism.
it seems easier to be guarded and have her own reservations than to believe that, truly, someone else could be like monica and take her side.]
...and if it had continued for longer, I imagine I would have seen you make a guest appearance.
[as she spent her days in the cabin off by the side of the snowy mountains of what was once sokovia, wanda wondered how long it would take for the 'magic police', as it were, to show up. much as she expected to be untouchable to the military, she didn't care for what they thought they could do to contain her (hadn't they tried that beforeâand failed?), but somehow she finds the idea of disappointing the more magically inclined a bit more nerve wracking.]
I always thought you were stricter. [like tony stark; some anxious impulse to put people in their place.] But you remind me of how Steve and Nat were with me. I was pretty young when I joined the Avengers, so they protected me a lot. I don't think I get that as a pass anymore.
[not just because of her age, but because of what she has been through and what she knowsâand perhaps especially because of what she can do.
wanda hesitates for a moment, biting down on her lip. westview is still something she isn't sure she can really talk aboutâthe intricacies of it, how she built a whole reality, gave life to kids that never existed, replicated the essence of the mind stone in vision, gave powers that equalled the real counterparts of those she imagined.
it is with a short intake of breath that she speaks up, the curl inward of her fingers a sign of her hesitation.]
You know I studied the Darkhold before you asked me to stop. [and she's been good about it so farâ kept her promise to not delve into it. butâ] There is so much in it, about the different universes and the worlds parallel to our own. [wanda raises her head to look at him.] Vision was alive in Westview, and I imagine children of our own who came to exist. [the technicalities are not to be shared] They chose me as their mother, and when the hex was gone, so were they.
âexcept I heard them before, calling for me.
[perhaps this is a magical session after all, and not so much about the multiverse but the idea that her magic is something so huge even she herself has trouble understanding how vast it is.]
It was when I held the Darkhold and looked into the possibilities of the multiverse. They exist somewhere, even though they aren't...
[her voice grows quiet, unable to finish her statement that is more like a careful question born from the fear of uttering it, lest she dismisses the possibility of it being probable at all:
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[she is not convinced, and she copies his facial expression with ease, steering more towards an amused tone than otherwise. stephen strange is many things, and one of the things he is not is a liar, which makes it a little comical when he tries to traipse around the truth.
a sign of her growing comfortable in the sorcerer's presence is the way she scooted closer to the edge of her seat, leaning forward, as if ready to pull away at whatever layers of not-lies he's coiling around the actual answer.
butâ
wanda, realizing this, leans back down, shoulders a little hunched. it's not like this is steve or natasha, or vision, or pietro.]
I guess we are all allowed our secrets.
no subject
Itâs no secret.
[âexcept it does, falling right off with some beleaguerment, a groan as Stephen raises his mug to his lips again and takes in the tea.
He finds itâs more and more difficult to ignore Wandaâs subtly wheedling curiosities. Friendly familiarity has rubbed away at his resolve.]
Donât make a big deal out of it. Though maybe youâve already done so inadvertently. [The surprise visit.] But todayâs my birthday.
no subject
her expression is muted for a moment until she sets down the cup of tea on the table and, with a bright smile, brings her hands upâfingers facing the ceilingâand snaps of small, glittering sparklers conflagrate over the table.
âalmost as if realizing that she isn't supposed to be using magic, she claps her hands together, the pyrotechnics show stopping abruptly, but it does very little to deter her smile.]
Happy birthday!
[is this reaction born from the fact that it's a step away from acquaintances and more towards the friendlier scope she hopes is not just one-sided? maybe. still, it's merriment that stems from a silly feeling that birthdays are important.]
It's lucky I came to bother you before midnight, then. Has it been a good day for you?
no subject
His eyes say it for him; no point in reiterating it. Stephen can't help but exhale somewhat.]
There's nothing lucky about it. It's a normal day, and that's how I like it. With all that's been happening lately, celebrations feel a little... forced.
[Throwing birthday celebration in the middle of an impending apocalypse? Feels a little tone deaf.]
no subject
I'm not saying to have a party.
[but whether they like it or not, it feels more like they are getting pulled by the waves of whatever sways the events of this place, rather than them having any actual say on how the tides turn.
with a little more fortitude in her confidence, she says, easily:]
I'm just glad that I can partake in your day a little.
[normal or otherwise, despite it being his birthday.]
It felt stupid to celebrate our birthdays after our parents had died, but Pietro always insisted we did. Just for one day, we could give ourselves an excuse to be happy. No matter how bad things were.
So, [the smile she pushed on her face remains, arms tucked around her] even with all the bad looming over us, I am glad to share a tea party with you on this day.
no subject
Fine. Just donât mention it to anyone else. Itâs bad enough the medical department has it on file to use against me.
[As though birthdays were meant to be weaponized. But in a show of quiet defeat, Stephen leans back into his chair properly, cradling his cup in his hands.]
How did you and your brother celebrate birthdays together?
no subject
[âthat has friends? âthat goes around telling everyone about someone's birthday when they clearly aren't into it? please, stephen. suppose scorpios really want to keep it close to their chest. stephen's insistence of treating it like this is some macabre plot that she could use feels a little funny, but wanda makes the decision to not dig too much into it and just accept his stubbornness as an attempt to dismiss the point entirely.
it's polite, she reckons, asking a question to continue their conversation. much as it pains her to reach into her mind for the memories of pietro, she can sail those seas a little better these days. her socked feet touch the floor and she's leaning forward, arms parallel on her thighs, nails lightly tapping at the porcelain of her cup.]
We would sneak out of the orphanage together, and go to an old lady's house. Anna. She knew our parents from beforeâ well, you know. We would pick berries from the bushes and run to the market for cherries, and she would make us pancakes and pie with it. We even gave each other small presents of things we found.
[she looks up at stephen, with a scrunch to her nose.]
He was always so loud about things and letting everyone know what day it was. It was a bit embarrassing, so I can understand your wanting to keep it a secret.
[personality-wise, wanda isn't as animated.]
no subject
He appreciates her candor. Her honesty. Her trust to share these little moments with him. Somehow, the connection has gone both ways, because he finds himself adding without promptingâ]
Because people think that theyâre obligated to do things for you. That someoneâs birthday means theyâre supposed to be the center of the world. Iâve spent enough of my life thinking the universe revolved around me, Wanda, even when it wasnât my birthday.
[He holds back another sigh. Itâd be probably the fifth one since this conversation started â he isnât trying to count.]
Besides, theyâre always more fun when weâre kids. Adult birthdays never live up to the hype.
no subject
[as the acclaimed doctor he has told her he used to be before turning his life towards magic and sorcery. wanda picks up the cup between her hands, but remains seated as she is for a moment.]
It does not sound like you even tried to let an adult birthday break your expectations. [with a small sip of her drink, she pauses in her words enough to sit back on the chair properly.] Though I suppose it is difficult for people like us.
[in this "saving the world" business.]
The third of January, but don't mention it to anyone else.
[sharing is caringâand with this they are even.]
no subject
Maybe so. Maybe there just arenât enough hours in the day.
[For people like them. Stephen shakes his head a little, feeling remiss if he doesnât correct one thing.]
Youâre wrong about me, though, from when I was still a surgeon. Thereâs a reason why I was so desperate to fix my hands, and it had nothing to do with wanting to help people. [The disdain is clear in his voice. This is a part of himself heâs grown past, but it doesnât make it any less ugly.] Helping people was a consequence, not the purpose. I only accepted patients I knew I could fix. Only those who would boost my reputation, bolster my successes moving forward. For every surgery I deigned to worth my time, I declined at least ten others.
I wasnât a humanitarian. I was an egotist who believed I could cheat death over and over again.
no subject
Yeah, it sounds like you were an asshole.
[he's probably heard that before. she takes another sip.]
People make mistakes. [much like how she perceives her life story.] People change.
You still helped people, even if you were being selfish. Now you don't get to choose what is worth your time anymore. Besides, if you didn't want to fix your hands for your own selfish reasons, we would have never crossed paths. Perhaps we would have never returned to the world after being blipped.
no subject
I know. And I'm not trying to get you to throw me a pity party. This is how it was fated to be, even if it took me being an ass to get here.
[So many actions branching out into a bigger purpose. The butterfly effect lives on vicariously in the universe.]
I just thought you should know, in case⌠[Vague hand wave] âŚI don't know. We have another mass dream sequence and you get to see some of the uglier parts of who I was. Since that's a thing that can happen now, apparently.
no subject
[it's not a badge of honor or anything, but she's not the pillar of purity that hasn't seen (or been) ugly before. even steve rogers couldn't keep his hands clean in the end. in the end, they all really are humanâflawed and imperfect.
despite it, she smiles, keep her back straight against the back of the chair, stretching her arms forward.]
One time I was comforted by being told that "no one dislikes me", but in that tone whereâyou know, [a hand motion] it sounds like they do. They can't voluntarily not be afraid of me.
Don't take this the wrong way, but seeing that you have ugly parts makes me feel a little better. Getting to involuntarily share them is something else, but â well, you do know about Westview, much as it pains me to admit.
Ugly parts don't change the opinion I have on a friend.
no subject
Your magic is powerful, Wanda. More than powerful, to the point where others just wonât be able to fathom what it can do. And you know the old cliche â people are afraid of what they donât understand.
[He pauses.]
To me, I see Westview as being⌠a mistake, yes, but just further proof that youâre human. Not an untouchable witch, or an untouchable ex-Avenger, but someone who struggled with a power they didnât know they had.
I know you didnât ask for my opinion, but there it is.
[And itâs what friends do. Give reassurance where itâs warranted, smattered with a hint of faith.]
no subject
it seems easier to be guarded and have her own reservations than to believe that, truly, someone else could be like monica and take her side.]
...and if it had continued for longer, I imagine I would have seen you make a guest appearance.
[as she spent her days in the cabin off by the side of the snowy mountains of what was once sokovia, wanda wondered how long it would take for the 'magic police', as it were, to show up. much as she expected to be untouchable to the military, she didn't care for what they thought they could do to contain her (hadn't they tried that beforeâand failed?), but somehow she finds the idea of disappointing the more magically inclined a bit more nerve wracking.]
I always thought you were stricter. [like tony stark; some anxious impulse to put people in their place.] But you remind me of how Steve and Nat were with me. I was pretty young when I joined the Avengers, so they protected me a lot. I don't think I get that as a pass anymore.
[not just because of her age, but because of what she has been through and what she knowsâand perhaps especially because of what she can do.
wanda hesitates for a moment, biting down on her lip. westview is still something she isn't sure she can really talk aboutâthe intricacies of it, how she built a whole reality, gave life to kids that never existed, replicated the essence of the mind stone in vision, gave powers that equalled the real counterparts of those she imagined.
it is with a short intake of breath that she speaks up, the curl inward of her fingers a sign of her hesitation.]
You know I studied the Darkhold before you asked me to stop. [and she's been good about it so farâ kept her promise to not delve into it. butâ] There is so much in it, about the different universes and the worlds parallel to our own. [wanda raises her head to look at him.] Vision was alive in Westview, and I imagine children of our own who came to exist. [the technicalities are not to be shared] They chose me as their mother, and when the hex was gone, so were they.
âexcept I heard them before, calling for me.
[perhaps this is a magical session after all, and not so much about the multiverse but the idea that her magic is something so huge even she herself has trouble understanding how vast it is.]
It was when I held the Darkhold and looked into the possibilities of the multiverse. They exist somewhere, even though they aren't...
[her voice grows quiet, unable to finish her statement that is more like a careful question born from the fear of uttering it, lest she dismisses the possibility of it being probable at all:
"real?"]